Thursday, February 26, 2009

2/25/09--Suden Developments

Wow, I'm sort of freaking out here at the moment....

Part of what this blog is supposed to be about is the journey I'm making from novice horse owner to prospective horse farm (as in working horse farm business) owner. I have been in the quiet negotiations phase of buying into the boarding/breeding/training farm where I keep my horses for the past few months. It's a long story, but here is the short version:





  • In February 2007, I moved my horse to this small boarding/breeding/training facility.


  • The farm was owned by three people-- a husband and wife team, and their friend, the trainer. Shared ownership of the business, the farm, the house, and all facilities in a 3-way, shared partnership LLC. The husband and trainer had always done all the horse work-- all the farm care, horse care, facilities maintenance, and horse training. The wife took care of all the typical "farm wife" duties-- housework, cooking, cleaning, feeding, etc. She did not participate in the business of running the farm, and for many years worked outside the farm--at a bank-- to supplement the farm's income.


  • By 2007, all three partners were in the range of 70 years old. The husband and trainer were in great health, very active, working farmers. The wife's health had not kept pace-- she struggled with diabetes, osteoporosis, high blood pressure, and the other "typical" maladies of a 73 year old woman in this day & age.


  • In July 2007, the husband of the team was diagnosed with a rapid-acting cancer, too late to treat.


  • While he was sick, I stepped in and took on horse chores, morning and evening, for the 15 horses on the farm around my day job. I expected this to be temporary and short-term until he got better or they found other help.


  • Over the next 5-6 weeks, my crash course in horse care was accompanied by a crash course in horse farm economics, which led me to understand that there wasn't the money to hire help. Wanting to ensure the best possible care for my own horse at the very least, I kept at it.


  • In August 2007, the husband died, and the partnership was re-drawn 50-50 between the surviving wife and trainer.


  • Since August of 2007, the 70-year old trainer and I have been operating the farm. She does most of the work, since I am still working full time, but I put in a lot of blood, sweat, and tears in my hours there, and we have had many, many discussions about just how long I can possibly keep this up. And what's in it for me.


  • Since August of 2007, and all this work, I have come to realize that the work is a calling, one I am answering from my heart despite the protestations of my head. I have had the incredible opportunity to apprentice with a master horsewoman, to live with horses of a quality I could never afford (and without guidance would never have known were worth affording!), and to learn, learn, learn everything I have learned and just how much I still have yet to learn.


  • In the fall of 2008, I tentatively offered that this new life was one I could see living for the rest of my life, and that it had become incredibly important to me to see that the farm went on, at least through the life of the youngest horses born there, including my bay baby boy, a 2007 colt-- so, for another 30 years. At 70, the trainer recognized she would not likely be able to operate the place alone for that long, so a fledgeling partnership discussion was born.


  • We have both been very aware of three things with the surviving wife-- that her physical condition does not allow her to do any work to participate in the running of the farm, that farm living (independent of the farming work) is very challenging and hard on her body at her age-- with steep stairs, a drafty old farmhouse, a long, unpaved driveway that needs shoveling and plowing-- and that she is the surviving widow and we need to be sensitive to her needs. So we have quietly considered what to do, without asking her, without wanting to upset her or feel that we're driving her out.


Well, this week, the doors blew off that subtlety bus!



A boarder in the barn, who knows a portion of the story (how hard it is for the wife, and how little she contributes, which makes it harder for the trainer) but not the whole thing (about me wanting to buy in) suddenly says to the wife in quiet conversation, "So, what about you? When are you going to retire and move out of here? It can't be easy to live in this house, and your family is all in XXXXXXville, down the road. Don't you want to go live near them?"



Trainer's jaw hits the floor as she anticipates the shit hitting the fan.



But lo and behold, the wife says, "Yes, I'm thinking about it. It's very hard here, and I'd like to go be with my family...."



Trainer's jaw hits the floor again.



Long story short, trainer and wife have had several conversations this week, culminating in the decision today by the wife to resign from the LLC and move on, trusting that the financing of a buyout will follow soon. (For all sorts of farmholding legal & real estate reasons, the buyout is a bit complicated, and may take up to 6 months to accomplish, so waiting for the money would slow things down.) Wife is already considering senior apartment accomodations in XXXXXville, near her family.



Holy Crapoly.



What this all means is that soon, sooner than I'd thought, I guess, the way will be paved to buy in and become a partner in this horse business.



On the one hand, it's very much what I want. I want the work, I want the responsibility, I want the assurance that my barn owner isn't going to have a heart attack one day and suddenly close up shop, leaving me nowhere to keep my horses.



But, wow, suddenly the responsibility, the scariness, the concept of debt and uncertainty of farming-- crap! That's huge!

Monday, February 16, 2009

Scar

Roux has lots of scars; she has them on her knees, where she must have fallen in harness while pulling that Amish buggy. She has one on her tongue, where some asshole used a brutal bit badly in her mouth. She has a broken baby tooth imbedded in her lower jaw, and some evidence (according to the vet) that her jaw was broken when she was a youngster and healed mostly straight, but a little crooked. She's got a bum hind leg that swells up when she's been in her stall too long; you can't see the ligament injury, but you can see the swelling. She's a tough old bird who has seen some action in her time.

But the scar she has that really bothers her is on her right side, midway down her rib cage. It's a patch of white hair in that sea of copper coat. She's sensitive on that side-- she'll raise a hind leg at you if you mess with it too much. She's apt to kick at you if you girth up the saddle too quickly over there. She pins her ears back and scowls at you if you linger over that area too long with the grooming tools. It's obviously sensitive, and there's another story there if only she could tell it.

And, just because she's the Red Menace she is, she gave me one in exactly the same place on my right side, about halfway down my ribcage.

It was in the first summer I had her. She was still putting on weight, but the trainer and the rescue people said to put them to work and keep them working while they were getting back in condition. Good for the mind, good for the discipline, good for the body.

So I had a huge, fluffy, fuzzy ridiculous saddle pad for her to keep the saddle well up and off her thin skin and the sensitive boney spots poking through it. It was comfy, ugly, and good for her. I was tacking her up one afternoon, feeling confident and self-satisfied that our feeding and exercise regimen was putting weight and muscle tone back on her, and that she really seemed to be getting used to her new home, her new people, her new life.

So, happy and smug, I was chatting with the friend whose barn we were boarding in while said friend tacked up her unflappable quarter horse at the other end of the aise. I made some sort of joke, laughed, and tightened the girth.

And Roux whipped around and bit me in the side. Hard.

Ow! Damn! WTF!?

And she just stood there looking at me like, look asshole, pay proper attention to me and treat me with the respect I deserve, or I'll bite you harder next time. If a horse could smile sweetly and completely insincerely, she was doing it.

She didn't break the skin, but pinched so hard through my shirt that I had an inch-and-a-half long blood blister that later bruised the size of a frisbee, and eventually shrunk back down to an inch-long thin scar. Proportionally, and locationally, it matches the one on her right side.

She has not bitten me since, though I've seen the same insincere smile on her face plenty of times. And she's only really hurt me by stepping on me inadvertantly and throwing me off once, but I'll wear that scar the rest of my life.

And she'll wear hers, and we'll match. And I kind of like that.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Why

Someone on the horse forum that I about live on just asked if boarding barns made a profit.

My answer was:

Profit? No

Break Even? Almost sometimes

Need outside income to sustain operations? Yes

So the, I suppose, obvious question then got posted:

So why, if you just barely break even, do you do it?

And I answered:
Because a life lived full time with horses is infinitely richer than one without.

Which I believe is true. I know in my heart and deep in my soul that it is true.

And yet, in the deep, dark moments of struggle for money, struggle with the workload, struggle with the schedule, I hear myself asking why, too. So I know it makes sense to ask if all of this makes any sense.

And occasionally I do ask the question. I ask why and begin to unravel all the threads of this crazy horse life canvas I'm weaving. I look at the fact that I could quit a job I hate if I didn't need the money for horses. I could have a million more hours in my day. I could actually cook decent meals and provide decent nutrition for my family. I could read again. I could not be exhausted all the time. I could smell nice. I could keep my car and my home clean. I could have the time to write the novel I always said I'd have written by now. I could have a social life. I could travel. I could do and have and be so much more...

So I pull all those threads and look critically at the naked landscape of my life in the glaring, harsh light of introspection.

And this little, confident, absolutely certain voice cries back from that barren land:

You do it because you love it, asshole.

And this, naked and undisguised, is true.

404 More Bales

I got to the farm today, late for a Saturday, and found the Hay Riches (the two guys named Rich from whom we buy most of our hay) unloading. I'd gone to breakfast with hubby & mum-in-law, and then on to drop off a computer and Christmas presents at a friend's house while I knew she was there. (I still have her Christmas presents because we've had a terrible time connecting...)

So, I pull in to the barn to the unison ribbing from the Hay Riches about how I'd slept in, nice to finally join them, what was I doing-- getting my Valentine's Day activity in early? Blah-blah-blah-- a great, family feeling of inclusion and good-natured acceptance. I really like these guys. They take good care of my BO, make good quality hay, and always bring a team of their own kids, their neighbors, their friends-- everyone-- to help with the hard work. They genuinely seem to like to visit with us and ask a few questions about horses every time. The have girl children, live on miles of great hay acreage, work their buns off making hay (around very demanding jobs with the state utility company), and they don't have horses themselves! Go figure!

So unload we do; they've done about 100 of the 152 bales on this load, so I got off easy. They head home for load #2-- to make good use of the warm enough to have melted the ice, but not so warm that the driveways are mud yet today weather-- and I finish the last two stalls of the morning. (I AM late-- BO has done almost all the stalls already this morning!) Then inside so she can grab coffee & lunch, and we can chat a bit about the upcoming clinic in May. About 20 minutes in, here comes load #2 of hay.

Back to the barn, up into the mow, and the chatter begins. Must be something about electricians, because these guys are funny. Every line out of their mouths is a joke, which is just like the two best electrician friends I have in the union. It's a tradesman's skill, I think, that being able to chatter non stop and be funny and really personable. People who are happy and confident in the work they are doing, with their hands busy and their mouths free. It's an absolute joy to be around, and I feel all the bullshit of my crappy office job wash off when I'm out there slinging hay with the guys.

148 on this load

Away they go, and away we head to the feed store for bedding. We've been going through it like mad with the horses in so much these last weeks, and the sawmill down the road where we usually get it by the dump-truck load isn't sawing this year like they have been, so we're buying it by the bag. That's expensive, a cost we're likely to see continue to rise....

We get pulled over by a cop because the farm truck's inspection sticker ran out in December. Oops. BO gives them the sweet little old lady face, and we get off with a warning and giggle all the way home.

Unload the shavings, and BO goes in to make an appointment to get the farm truck inspected & lubed this week, and here come the hay guys one last time.

This time, while up in the mow, Rich #2 asks about haying our hay fields this summer, which thrills me to pieces. I'd proposed it last year-- that they've got such a machine going with the many, many fields they hay that we'd be better off paying them to hay ours as well than scrambling to find time and help to get ours done. It kills the BO to have to pay for her own hay, but, shit, we lost 400 bales last summer to rain because we didn't have enough help to get it in before the storms, so WTF?!

But when I'd asked the Riches about it, they sort of hemmed & hawed-- not having priced a job like this (where they'd use our equipment and diesel), they were a bit at a loss as to know what to charge us. And they're good, honest farmboys who know the only reason we're asking is because we're a couple of chicks who just don't have the time or the help to get it done. Their chivalrous nature (god I love that about farm guys) won't let them just give us a price to decide yes or no on because they sort of feel like they ought to help us out.

So, anyway, I'd thought the matter was dead, but they brought it up, and offered a tentative price at exactly what I'd thought was a good price. We confirmed a bit the number of acres, and that we don't have a hay kicker (which shoots the bales out of the baler into a wagon) and we don't acutally have a wagon-- we pick up bales by pickup truck and haul them down to the barn. Well, that's more work, so maybe a higher price...

...or maybe a trade on riding lessons for the daughters...

God, I love farming. Trading, chivalry, working it out, pitching in and helping...it's so different from so much of the rest of the life I live, have lived all this time.

So, it's in negotiations. Which is good. Talk it out now and get it straight before the misery of the actual season begins...

Last load, last of what the Hay Riches have for us this season-- 104 bales. Nice. Yummy! The horses will be so happy, and we are so relieved to have a pretty full mow in mid-February. No running out if April runs long and cold. No scrambling to find sellers...it's all good and done!

And then it was time to pat the horses and head home for the afternoon.

Tomorrow, we ride, dammit! Hooray! Finally!

Friday, February 13, 2009

Being Away

I was away last weekend. I went to Philadelphia to visit an old high school friend. It was my first weekend away in a really long time, and it was hard to adjust to not being at the farm for the weekend, to not digging in and working Saturday and Sunday, to not having my fuzzy friends around, stomping on my feed and nuzzling at my pockets.

Of course, the first thing I did when I had the date set with my friend in Philly was to google tack shops in the Philly area. We're a little light in the tack shop department here in upstate ruralsville, so the chance at a bigger shop, with greater selection, was appealing. I get all the catalogs--Smartpak; Bit & Bridle; Dover; Dressage Essentials; State Line Tack; Country Supply-- but the chance to actually get my hands on the gear and the bling I see in all those pages is rare, so I was hoping Philly would offer me much.

Thanks to the internet and my gps navigation unit, I made my way around the city and found two great shops-- The Malvern Tack Shop and Bit of Heaven Tack Shop. Malvern was very high-end, with much to offer in the custom-made department. I almost interrupted someone else's conversation about her search for a horse and handed her a card to tell her to check out our young stock, but resisted the urge. I was thinking, "hey, this is my weekend away; it's about me, not about selling horses or working for the farm..." so I resisted, though I think about it and sort of regret it-- what if that'd been my chance to make the perfect match? Anyway...

Bit of Heaven offered much more off-the-shelf shopping, and was a much larger store. I found several items I've been looking at but not wanting enough to pay the shipping on-- brushes for Sherman, whose coat is so much thicker than Roux's. (His coat laughs at the soft brushes I invested in for her soft coat and thin skin!) A replacement baseball cap-- my favorite horse one has a permanent, nasty sweat stain in the brow, so it's kinda gross to wear in public. So yeah, I bought a dress baseball cap for special occasions!

I even found, in the used consigment gear section of the store, a Tipperary eventing vest. (Sort of like a baseball catcher's chest protector, only in an all-the-way-around-the-ribcage vest-- for protecting ribs and kidneys in the event of a fall or kick or other horse-related accident.) I'd been thinking about looking in to one because I plan to be crash-test-dummy rider to get the two young horses we have for sale lots and lots of mileage this summer, and I know it's likely we'll have a few episodes and probably launch me once or twice. If a vest makes me brave enough to get on and get back on, that's great. If it keeps me healthy, so much the better.

But I wasn't sure I was ready to buy one yet-- riding the youngsters won't begin in earnest until May or June, so do I really need a vest in February? And I didn't really know how good a bargain this used one was...so I called my horse friend, Amy, from the back room of the tack shop and asked her about the one she bought last year, and whether this was a good deal... her response was, "look, whatever the vest costs, it's going to be less than when you pop a kidney."

Pop a kidney.

Yes, that did it; into my basket the vest went.

So I had a great time buying fun things and dreaming, again, of warm spring days of ice-free footing.

I did, also, visit with my friend and have lots and lots of laughs and a great time catching up. It had been too, too long since we'd been together. It was a wonderful visit.

But a lot of the time, my mind was back at the barn. I called to check in with the BO to make sure everything was okay, and I got involved in a 10 minute conversation about a clinic we're helping to put together in the spring, and at which we'll ride. It makes absolutely no difference right now, but we were trying to decide which horses we'd take. I'm in my friend's kitchen in Philadelphia, on the phone with the farm 230 miles away, assessing horse capabilities and training needs.

Beyond that, I wondered all weekend about the weather-- it was warm & sunny in Philly, and their snowstorm leftovers were melting like crazy. What was happening at the farm? Was it getting better, or was there just enough melt to pool on top of the ice and make it worse? Were the two back stalls in the tobacco barn flooding? Horses in or out? I was away, but I'm finding that I'm never really away.

I enjoyed the trip, however, perhaps partly because I knew it might be one of my last for a while. Once I'm owner of a farm, and have the beasts as my own responsibility all the time, I know I'll rarely be ready to leave them in someone else's care. One of my first priorities after settling into farm ownership is to line up a top-notch farm-sitter, but those are so hard to come by that it may take a while, or it may never happen. I may very well be in the business of always hosting visitors because I can never leave home...but, of course, with horsey beauty out there, who would want to?

So, I did enjoy the trip, though much of me stayed here...

Friday, February 6, 2009

Feb 5 09 Part Two: Sherman

Went to the barn last night and found, as I had expected, the horses had been in all day. The wind chill never got above 4 degrees, so BO left them in, and I don't blame her. Horses were happy enough; they'd all been munching & drinking and having a quiet day indoors. They were ready for dinner, however, so on with the feeding.

Threw them hay and water, then moved & stacked a dozen bales in the center barn. (The hay is stored in the mow above the main barn, but we pull down 20 bales at a time and stack them in the two primary barns for easy feeding. About six stack in the aisle of the main barn, and 12-15 in the center barn, and they get fed out from there.) Then threw the horses their "grain" which, in our case, is really just a pelleted vitamin/mineral concentrate. Morgans don't need much more than hay and a vitamin balancer-- any more calories and sugar than that, and they get fat & develop foot problems. Due to their lack of need for caloric input, they're called "air ferns" in the horse world.

So, fed the pellets, topped off water buckets and closed up the barns for the night. My three guys (Roux, Celby, and Sherm) are all on the outside of the third barn, a shedrow setup where they can see out their stalls to the pastures. It's a bit breezier out there for the people, but inside the stalls, the horses are as tucked in as anyone else, and they get a view of the world, not of the walls, so I love having them there.

Roux was polite, but more interested in her hay than me. Celby wasn't even polite; he just wanted to eat. But Sherm was delighted to have company. He'd probably gotten bored during the day and was looking for anything to do, anyone to talk to, so he hung his head out and visited with me rather than finishing his dinner. He knew it'd be there for him.

I fell in love with Sherman about three weeks after he was born in 2007. He was a gorgeous baby, and athletic almost from the start, so he's a fine piece of horseflesh to begin with. But what really won me over about him was his personality. I'd never really thought about it much before, but he showed me that horses come born with personalities. His was so different from the foal born the week before him, and pretty different from the two born the year before him.

From the outset, he was inquisitive and brave. He'd wander acres away from his mother, even at just weeks old. His curiosity and sense of independence attracted my attention, and his bold, fearlessness really impressed me. He'd engage with other horses, the cows on the next farm, the farm cats and dogs, people, trees-- everything was of interest to him, and nothing struck him as a threat.

I'm not like that. I'm suspicious of everything, and cautious about it all. It impressed me mightily that this little young thing was so eager to engage and unafraid.

He would, of course, run back to his mom if another horse was mean to him, or if something seemed too big for his little britches to manage, and for regular drinks of mother's milk, but his behavior from the outset said to the world, "Hello, I'm Sherman. Isn't it all great!?"

And he's still like that. Turned out in pasture, he will spend hours at a time away from the other horses in the herd, doing his own thing. He doesn't even look up to see what they're doing; he's in his own little world. Very unusual for a horse; they're very herd-oriented animals. And then, suddenly, he'll come racing up to another horse and pounce in her face, as if to say, "HEY! Let's play!" And if they want to play, that's great; if not, he'll go entertain himself some other way. It's all good in Sherman's eyes.

So last night, he wanted to visit with me.

Sherman has had a breakout of "juvenile warts"-- it's a symptom of a virus all young horses catch and develop immunity to between age 1.5 and 3. Some get warts, some get terrible cases (like teenage acne pizza face horrors), and some don't get any warts at all. Sherm has one by his eye, and one on his lip. They look sort of like beauty marks-- little white spots in his black and chocolate-brown face. If that's all he gets, that'd be great, but I'm prepared for more. BO is calling him "Wart" or "Hogwart" this week. Sherm gets lots of nicknames....

But anyway, he hung out over his stall door and asked me to rub his face, which has some scratches and ruffed-up fur, which indicates to me that it's been itchy and he's tried to scratch it on the rough surfaces inside his stall. He was in heaven to have a soft hand, with just enough fingernail to get the good spots, rub all over his face and ears...oooh, yeah...the ears...oh, right there....mmmm...yes..oh, that feels good. He tipped his head this way and that to reach the good spots, and rolled his eyes and curled his lip when we'd found them. He was quite delightful.

And when my fingers got cold or my arms got tired, and I stopped the scratching, he just stood there and looked at me with his deep, soulful eyes. Just stood and looked. Didn't beg for more, didn't ignore me and go back to his meal, didn't bang the stall door to get more attention. He just stood and looked deep into my eyes, all the way to my heart where he saw his own reflection looking back. And he said it's all good; I love you, Mom.

And I said, yeah, Sherm, it is all good; I love you, too.

And though it was 12 degrees, and -3 in the wind, we were both right. It is all good.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

February 5, 2009: A Brief Rant About the Winter of 08-09

Once again this morning, I get up and find the temperature below 10 degrees. Currently, it's 6 out, and the wind is whipping, making a -6 wind chill. And this is about the 45th day of weather like this since Thanksgiving. This has been a brutally hard, unforgiving winter. And it's only the 5th of February; we should really just be starting to experience temperatures like this, but it's been going on since the first week of December.

We're doing okay. The work on my BO is harder when the weather is like this, and every decision about the horses has to be weighed carefully-- do they go out or stay in today? If they go out, is the footing safe? Will the wind be too cold? Will they be bored and start tearing down fences that can't be repaired properly in these temperatures because the plastic connector parts break in your hands? If they stay in, can I keep water buckets fresh and not iced-over? How much hay are we racing through? Will there be enough to last into April? And what about the cleanup?

I hate for her that she has to make these myriad decisions every day, sometimes twice or three times a day, just because of the weather. I am exhausted for her.

But today I'm whining for me.

In decent weather, when the temperatures are at least 25 when I get up in the morning, and the farm is not covered in deadly ice-- from March to November, usually, with a few days here and there where we catch a break during the December-February time frame, my horse schedule looks a bit like this:

Monday-Friday:
Alarm goes off at 5:15 a.m.
Shower, Eat breakfast, Walk Dogs 5:30-6:45 a.m.
Pack up & head for barn by 7:00 a.m.
Drive to barn 7-7:30 a.m.
Groom & Tack up, Chat with BO 7:30-8:00 a.m.
Ride, including:
Walking warmup 10 minutes
Serious ring work 20 minutes
Outside ring ride (either trail work at a walk or a nice, open canter through an empty pasture) 5-10 minutes
Cool out 10 minutes
Untack, groom, and feed a carrot to my steed around 8:45/8:50
Turn out 16 horses at 9:00 a.m.
Head for work at 9:15/9:30 ish

By the time I'm done with my two hours at the barn, the very best part of my day has been fit in; I've exercised, I've had my communal animal meditation time; I've gotten fresh air and exercise; I've put my hands on horseflesh; I've been slobbered on, spit on, and globbed with hay drool. I am ecstatically happy, and I can face the long day at work, catching periodic aromas of horse and hay and grass as I sit in a stuffy, impersonal, unnatural office. I am reminded throughout the day of my horses, of nature, of my great blessings, and I feel pretty good about everything.

Though the day itself may be long and tedious and frought with disappointment (fundraising is never easy, and these be ugly times for philanthropy), I've had my best moments early in the day, and I go home okay with it.

And on weekends, I do the same, but just stay longer to do chores (stalls, water buckets, hay, farm repairs, whatever) so I'm there until noon or 2:00.

But this winter, this relentless, brutal winter, has upset that balance entirely. I have not been able to ride since the first week of December, due to the ice in the riding arenas and on the lanes at the farm. That would be okay; I've experienced weeks without riding before. But the bitter, bitter cold has changed the horses' schedule so much that I don't even go out in the mornings anymore. They stay in eating hay until well after I need to be at work, so I don't go to turn them out. Since they're eating hay, they don't want to be groomed and fussed with; they want to be about their important munching, so there's not even the pleasure of grooming them to get myself all horsey smelling before I go to work. I haven't made the morning pilgrimage since Christmas just because it's been so cold and such a futile effort.

So this week I am trying to go in the evenings after work a few times a week, but that has its drawbacks as well. I can bring the horses in and feed them their grain, which I love to do because they are so enthusiastic about it. Eager, hungry horses are even funnier and louder than hungry dogs at dinnertime! But, again, they're eating and that's their primary focus. It's getting dark, so they know they're in for the night and not going out for a ride, so they sort of look at you like why are you here? when are you going to go away and let me eat in peace? I can casually groom Roux while she eats, but Celby and Sherman both get a bit panicky if you try to work with them while they're eating. And that's fair; I wouldn't want someone doing my hair while I was trying to eat my dinner.

And, on top of that, if I'm out there in the evening, my BO stays out with me to visit; it's the time we get to chat about the horses and the farm and all things equine. But I know she's been out in the miserable cold all day, and she'd really like to go in the house and get a hot shower and a hot meal. I tell her repeatedly no to wait on me, to go ahead and go inside to get warm. But she still takes such delight in her boarders and in sharing in their enjoyment of their horses that she's slow to tear herself away from the stable. So I feel pretty guilty about making her stand out there in the cold for any longer than she has to.

I had a perfect schedule going! I get up early and make the long drive and get my fix and then go to the day job. But this frigging winter, this miserable, dastardly, son of a bitch of a winter has put an utter halt to it. Goddamnit, I'm so fed up and frustrated and disappointed and, my god, I've got cabin fever. Shit!

And thus ends my weather rant for this day.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Bayou Roux...The Rescued Saddlebred Who Started it All

This is the text of an article that appeared in the May/June 2007 issue of American Saddlebred Magazine. They sought out stories of the work Saddlebred Rescue (http://www.saddlebredrescue.com/ ) was doing to re-home former Amish (and usually former Saddlebred show ring) horses.

Beginner’s Luck: A Saddlebred Rescue Success Story

At 36 years old, I decided I had to take riding lessons. Drawn in that way that all horsewomen are, pulled by that force that is at once inexplicable, yet endlessly fascinating to try to explain, I found myself calling the local hunter/jumper stable to learn to ride horses. I was terrified and exhilarated in equal measure, and I eagerly awaited every lesson, though my knees shook in the car on the way to the barn.

After three months of twice-per-week lessons, I was completely hooked, and my knees began to shake in eager anticipation and less out of fear. I advanced from the beginning diminutive white Arab mare, just barely horse-sized, to the sturdy older Thoroughbred gelding with the upright head. Though he had a terrible lean to the right, a tendency to spook at the tractor and a miserable habit of jerking his head up out of my hands as I tried to bridle him, he remained my favorite through six months of lessons despite opportunities to ride several horses, including two very seasoned, very expensive Quarter Horses and a delightful grade horse with the silkiest coat I’d ever touched. The Thoroughbred gelding had something that made this short-legged, long-waisted beginner comfortable – a big, high head that he carried upright. If there was going to be a horse of my own in my future, it’d be high-headed like this. I just liked having that dashboard in front of me!

But in this era of the ubiquitous Quarter Horse, everywhere I went, people were trying to sell me on the Quarter Horse. My hunter/jumper instructor champions them as kind, quiet, steady horsey companions. While I recognized their attraction for the general public, they just didn’t do it for me. I didn’t know it then, but there was a brighter equine star on my horizon. As a coonhound owner, I’ve come to realize that there’s not enough joy in an animal that’s too simple, too easy. If everyone can manage one, then it’s not challenging enough for me.

I poured through breed books, looking, learning, absorbing everything about all the types of horses. I kept stumbling across one – the American Saddlebred – that had the upright head carriage I was looking for. I kept finding references to how they weren’t really as “hot” as their reputation; they were really more versatile than years of show-ring display had reduced them to. I, of course, heard the real message in the denials of these stereotypes: there was something to the reputation or else the stereotype wouldn’t exist in the first place. I kept saying, “Uh, well, maybe not for a beginner like me…”

Looking for advice, I mentioned my interest in the American Saddlebred to my hunter/jumper instructor, and she said, “They don’t jump.” Quickly realizing that neither did I as of yet, she went on to reiterate some of what I’d already heard – hot, spirited, show-ring horses. So again I said, “Maybe not.”

But I couldn’t look away, and it wasn’t too long before my evening Internet surfing had found a focus: Saddlebreds. Within a week or so of serious browsing, I came across a video of a horse on the trot.org Rescue Me forum. He’d been named Mr. Goodwrench because of the unique wrench-shaped blaze he bore. I am a journeyman stagehand in the theatre, and our number-one, most-important tool is our crescent wrench, so his name and his mark seemed to be speaking to me right out of the heavens. I watched the video of him trotting around the North Wind Stables (Blairstown, NJ) ring over and over. I emailed it to friends. I showed it to people at work. I was a woman obsessed.

But there was no way I was ready for a horse of my own! Beyond the questions of finances, what the husband thought and where I’d keep one (obviously not at the hunter/jumper barn; that would be too uphill a battle for me. I couldn’t prove both that I was ready for a horse and that it should be one “outside the discipline” at the same time!), I still had a nagging question about this breed. Yeah, they were pretty and looked like what I wanted, but what the heck did I know? I’d been involved with horses for all of six months.

So, again to the Internet to find a stable nearby that had Saddlebreds. While not quite nearby, there was a trainer in my hometown, about an hour-and-a-half away. A quick email, a little bit of phone tag, and I was set for Saturday lessons. I promised my husband I’d try it through the spring and make a wise, economical decision about all that road traveling before winter came.
Though I started my saddle seat equitation on a trusted Morgan within the stable, I watched several Saddlebreds being worked every weekend as I always went early to soak up everything and make the most of my journey. My trainer was wonderful. His stable was friendly and welcoming, and the horses were just gorgeous. Though I myself wasn’t headed for the show ring – always a stagehand, never a performer – this facility really tempted me with its beauty, grace and enthusiasm. And, of course, the Saddlebreds!

Then came the whirlwind that was July 2006. After a particularly grueling fundraiser weekend at my theater, one that took six weeks to prepare for and four straight 14-hour days to run, I was called by a force stronger than explanation to Saddlebred Rescue to look at a horse I’d been following on the Web. I was physically and spiritually exhausted by the preceding month’s work schedule; I was empty, washed clean and worn out, evidently waiting to be filled. There was no rhyme, reason nor logic to my decision to travel to New Jersey that Thursday morning. I can still see the look on my husband’s face when I said, “I think I’m going down to look at a horse” as casually as if I were headed down to the market to pick up some milk. He looked at me as if I was crazy, and, I suppose, fearing I was, said he’d go along for the ride if I wanted him to. I did, he did, and we pulled into North Wind’s driveway at 10:30 a.m. on Thursday, July 20th.

I knew the minute I saw him in person that the horse I’d come to see wasn’t the right one. He’d drawn me there, but he wasn’t right for me, and that he was wrong was as inexplicable as the call to come see him had been. The folks at the stable were kind and patient as they tried not to size me up as a flake – all hot to see this horse one minute, then uncertain and unaccepting of him the next. But something else was going on there that day, something cosmic and miraculous, and the good women and men of Saddlebred Rescue had the good sense to let it flow.

I perused the pen of rescue horses, some pulled from the New Holland auction just three days earlier. Whoever it was who had brought me here, was in that pen. I tried a gelding named Andy, and while he was physically gorgeous despite his thin, thin frame, and despite the fact that my husband really loved him, he wasn’t the one. He was close, but not quite.

Behind all the boys in the pen, Mr. Ears and Stormy and Ned, all of whom crowded the gate with friendly enthusiasm, there was a mare with the saddest, weariest, most down-trodden expression. Nealia (Nealia McCracken of North Wind Stables) said, “Why not give Sweet Pea a try?” Well, okay, but just to be polite. After all, these people had given me their time and attention and had never stopped teaching me and talking about Saddlebreds and Amish horses and saddle seat training and any number of other things in which I had so little experience. I should at least humor them and try this one horse they suggested. But that wasn’t going anywhere. I wasn’t looking for a mare. I’d only had riding success with geldings. I’d only ever gotten along with boys in school and men in the workplace. A mare? No thank you, but, yes ma’am, I’ll try her.

Well, so much for knowing what I wanted and for thinking I knew what was best for me. Sweet Pea, and oh, how I hated that name – it was all girly and pink and mushy and just too sugary for me – well, she was the one. I wasn’t out of my first turn in the ring, and I knew she was the one. We have video of me mounting and walking off, almost running down one of Nealia’s lesson students who walked in front of us. I was so in another world with this horse. It was a spiritual experience. This was the horse who’d called me down there; this was the horse I was meant to bring home!

But still, the intellect doesn’t like to let go. I was well aware that I had no ability to judge a horse, that this horse was at least 20, had been worked hard for the last 11 years, was dreadfully underweight, had some sort of blackened spot on her gums, a tumor on her tail and a swollen right rear ankle. So what if the gods were telling me she was mine; there were health and conformation issues to consider. As I hosed Sweet Pea down after our outside ride, she stood quietly and clearly grateful for the relief from the brutal July heat, I knew I couldn’t decide then and there based on my heart. I had to come back with my friend, a horsewoman with impartiality and experience and the woman who owned the private barn where I would keep my horse.

We came back three days later. My barn owner – a Quarter Horse owner, PMU (pregnant mare urine, which is used to produce hormones for humans) draft mix rescuer and devoted fan of stocky, heavy drafts – was appalled at these rail-thin, camel-necked beasts. She, as always, was rational, logical, impartial, neutral and reasoned in her evaluation of the horse. She also knew the emotional draw of the rescue, the rose-colored glasses of the first horse buyer. She evaluated her as in fair condition for a horse of 20 years, but reminded me that 20 is getting a little old for a horse. She agreed that Sweet Pea was pretty smart under saddle, even with no physical strength, no recent training and overly long feet. On the drive home, knowing that despite my assurances I really hadn’t made a decision, she asked, “So… have you picked a name?” I had chosen two, Zydeco Zoe and Bayou Roux. She insisted this horse didn’t have enough oomph to be a Zydeco Zoe, so it should be Roux. And so it was.

In the nine months she’s been home, that’s the only decision we’ve had reason to question. After two weeks of rest and the slow introduction of regular nutritious meals, this old horse began to put on weight and shed the years. Through the month of nose-to-nose quarantine, where we kept her within sight of but a safe five feet from the resident horses, Roux paced and ran her big Saddlebred gaits along the fence line, wanting so badly to meet and play with the others. She won over my barn owner with what she called “the big trot” in from the pasture when she heard the scoop hit the feed bin. Big, long, high roundhouse strides, and she’d come loping in to the run-in shed, looping her long body around in an awkward skidding, piston-pumping stop at her food dish. In February we took her to a local western barn to have a look at cow-penning games. All the Quarter Horse owners were impressed at her stature, and two even asked if she was just a four-year-old. You should have seen their amazement when I told them she was 20!

And not only is she not old at 20, she’s all the wonderful things all those early Web sites tried to assure me Saddlebreds were. She’s trustworthy, level-headed when at work and steady. She’s the been-there, done-that trail horse extraordinaire. She’s the lead horse any time there’s a challenging obstacle of any kind – through the doorway, over the wooden bridge, past the cows, onto the trailer, across the creek, past the dog.

And she’s smart, so smart. I know everyone thinks their horse is smart, but this girl is nothing but brains. She’s constantly learning something new or revealing something she knew from before her buggy days. Only weeks at home, I had her in the round pen, and she’d demonstrate that she knew walk/trot verbal commands, which I reasoned could easily have been holdovers from buggy days. I just thought I’d try something, so I quietly said, “Canter” and she broke into it without missing a beat, held it for a few strides before her poor atrophied musculature couldn’t hold it. You could tell she’d once known it, done it and her mind remembered, even if her body didn’t.

Over the winter, due to the bad winter mud, we did a lot of in-hand ground work – backing up, backing over poles, yielding, turn on the forehand, etc. Every time I threw her a new task, I got the same response. Her head would go up, ears go pricked, eyes go wide for three seconds, then there would be a subtle shift, a softening of her features and a tentative move in the direction I’d indicated. When she got praised for doing it right, she snorted and crackled and sighed her relief. A second try would go much more quickly, and by the third go at it, she was practically rolling her eyes in boredom at my pedestrian attempts to keep her agile mind occupied – I know this one already, can we move on?

Her desire to move on and to keep learning new things made it clear that life on the farm was just too sedate and laid-back for this old gal, who still has so much to offer. Her need for work prompted me to move her to my dressage trainer’s barn in early March when a stall became available. After the initial transition to the new barn, where she’s still the tallest – towering over 16 resident-registered Morgans – Roux has settled into a delightful routine of regular work and occasional leisure. We ride four days a week, often for two hours at a time, working hard on our 20-meter circles (okay, they’re still mostly eggs, but that’s my fault!) and walk/trot-walk/halt transitions, trying to bring all those miles of Saddlebred spine into a collected frame while trying to bring down the huge buggy-pulling trot into a nice, graceful, relaxed one. I come home exhausted, saddle sore and in dire need of Tylenol after these workouts. Roux prances off to pasture for a good roll and an evening of grazing, never sore, and rarely even breaking a sweat. I limp around the next day, but she doesn’t. After six weeks of watching both of us work to build up our winter-layoff muscles, my trainer asked if she could give the big red horse a try herself, and I got the treat of watching a professional get Roux to gracefully bend her neck into the elegant swan arch of a 1st-level dressage horse. It was a gorgeous, golden light from the heavens moment, and it took my breath away.

In addition to the physical changes, the careful disciplined tutelage of this trainer and our very regular riding schedule has mellowed Roux’s smarter-than-thou attitude. She has stepped down from you’re boring me to a challenged and satisfied okay, I can do that…what shall we do next? When I arrive at the barn, she runs from the rear of her pasture to greet me at the gate, often starting a three-pasture stampede. She’s so anxious to get back to work and be asked to do the next great thing! We recently traveled to a local dressage clinic to see how we do trailering in to unfamiliar circumstances with unfamiliar horses. Roux shone her Saddlebred best, so if all goes well, we may be headed to our first schooling show mid-summer. Look out, Harry Callahan, we’ve got you in our sights!

Our first six months together were about recovery, rehab and discovering who this old horse is, and what she could still do. The last three months have been about understanding that the sky’s the limit, she’s got plenty left to give and I’m going to have to work my butt off to keep up with her strong, lithe body and brilliant mind.

Honestly, I think that’s a lot of what’s behind the Saddlebred image as hot and wild. They get it so much more quickly than we realize, and we bore them. They want to be in on the action, to excel and be challenged. If we let them down, they begin to challenge us. The Quarter Horses at the farm appeared to be happy just being horses – eating, rolling, dozing – being the reliable lab asleep on the rug by the fire. The Saddlebred, however, is ever-ready to be in on the action and if there isn’t any to be had, she’ll make up something, just like coonhounds trying to tree the UPS man – there’s got to be something to keep them entertained! You should see Roux’s ears prick up when someone heads for the truck – Are we going to hook up the trailer? Are we going out? Come on, let’s go!

For my money, these smart, gorgeous, long-necked steeds are the only way to fly.

Sunday, February 1-- Bringing the New Mare Home

So fellow boarder (MQ) and I hook up her trailer and hit the road at 7:30 am to make the trip into the Northern Tier of PA to pick up the horse our BO has found for a former boarder & lesson student of hers. The former boarder lost her horse to Potomac Horse Fever in the summer of 2007, and has been casually looking for a new horse for about a year.

About six months ago, new horses moved into our barn, and for the first few trimmings, they used the farrier from their former barn. John the Farrier, as we shall call him, got chatting with BO about Morgans and mentioned that he had a client in central PA who was dispersing his herd and retiring south, so if she needed a nice little Morgan mare, good with kids, good on the trail, sweet personality, he knew of one.

BO needs another horse in her own herd like a hole in the head, but she kept the offer in mind. Last week, John the Farrier called to say that another local client of his was going down to the dispersal to pick up a quarter horse from the retiring horseman, and the little Morgan mare was still available-- did BO want to make one trip count and have them bring the little Morgan up with them? BO rolled the dice and said, yeah, throw her on the trailer. Sight-unseen, on the recommendation and reputation of John the Farrier, a guy we don't know all that well, but who sees a lot of horses and seems a gentle and honest enough soul.

BO then did some fast phoning and told the former boarder that she'd agreed to take this horse with former boarder in mind. Former boarder, an amazing gambler herself, said, hey, what the heck?! Sure, I'll buy her. And so an unseen horse has been bought and sold and transported to John the Farrier's farm in Northern PA, where we're going to go pick her up to bring her home.

BO has a clinic on Sunday, so can't go make the trip to John the Farrier's, so it's me and MQ, hooking up the trailer in the barely-dawn 17-degree morning and heading out. It's about a 56 mile trip over PA farmland, with "landmarks" to look for like "the Penn State statue in the front yard" and "the tangerine-colored house on the sharp curve"-- not road signs or names or route numbers, but idiosyncrasies of personal tackiness....this is PA for you; I'll write about adventures in PA one of these days, but I don't have the strength right this minute. But we did go through "French's Asylum", which prompted this little bit of historical research: http://www.phmc.state.pa.us/ppet/french/page1.asp?secid=31

We find John the Farrier's house with no problem, and he goes out to the barn to get the horse while we open up the trailer and get it ready for her. I turn around, and he is leading the sweetest-looking little Morgan mare down his driveway-- all perky ears, big doe eyes, and delicate bones and feet. She's a little lean, but even with the extra pounds she needs, she'll be a small Morgan, lighter of bone and more delicate-featured than our Foxwin Morgans. She's got a longer neck and face as well; she is certainly of the lines that cross-bred with Saddlebreds later into the 20th century than ours. She's beautiful, petite and pretty.

And we don't know her name. John the Farrier can't remember-- she's one of dozens of client horses for him-- and her papers won't be transferred until the buyer's check clears. So we all three are in love with this pretty little mare, and we don't know her name!

She hops on the trailer with a bit of persuading, and then whinnies all the way home. As we pass farms, horses in pastures whip their heads up to her call-- who's that going by? With all that whinnying, I'm concerned that she's working up a sweat and going to be chilled in the morning air, so I'm mentally planning out getting her a cooler (blanket) when we get back to the barn and wondering if she's ever been blanketed...and how am I going to blanket a strange horse? What if she tries to eat me?

But we pull in to home, open up the trailer door, and she's cool as a cucumber, not a sweat spot on her. Apparently, she's just vocal, but was not upset.

She steps off the trailer to the excited whinnying and spectating of our herd of 15- who's this? Someone new! -- and into her waiting stall just like she's lived there all her life. She snatches some hay, sniffs her water bucket and peers out from the stall, getting the lay of the land. She's quiet, sweet, and very, very friendly.

I call the new owner, who asks how tall she is, what color, what she's like. I'm delighted to be able to say that it looks like we came up lucky 7s when we rolled the dice with her-- she's kind, pretty, sweet, relaxed, very people-oriented. I think we got a winner. I get a sense of the breeder's thrill at putting a horse together with an owner-- the potentials of the burgeoning relationship feel really good, and I can see why my BO likes doing this...

I spend the morning cleaning stalls and checking on her. She's relaxed in her stall, but whinnies occasionally to see if anyone is out there. She seems happy to know where someone-- horse or human-- is at all times, but not panicked if she can't see them or get an answer. By mid-afternoon, she seems to want to come out and see what it's all about, but is patient and contents herself with hay.

Today, I hope, we'll get a name for her and get her out with some other horses for some sunshine and companionship. I'm glad I won't be there to watch the integration-- that can sometimes be a little harsh to watch as they chase and pester and sort out pecking order-- but I look forward to going back out soon and visiting with this new girl. And I look forward to knowing her name!