Why

Someone on the horse forum that I about live on just asked if boarding barns made a profit.

My answer was:

Profit? No

Break Even? Almost sometimes

Need outside income to sustain operations? Yes

So the, I suppose, obvious question then got posted:

So why, if you just barely break even, do you do it?

And I answered:
Because a life lived full time with horses is infinitely richer than one without.

Which I believe is true. I know in my heart and deep in my soul that it is true.

And yet, in the deep, dark moments of struggle for money, struggle with the workload, struggle with the schedule, I hear myself asking why, too. So I know it makes sense to ask if all of this makes any sense.

And occasionally I do ask the question. I ask why and begin to unravel all the threads of this crazy horse life canvas I'm weaving. I look at the fact that I could quit a job I hate if I didn't need the money for horses. I could have a million more hours in my day. I could actually cook decent meals and provide decent nutrition for my family. I could read again. I could not be exhausted all the time. I could smell nice. I could keep my car and my home clean. I could have the time to write the novel I always said I'd have written by now. I could have a social life. I could travel. I could do and have and be so much more...

So I pull all those threads and look critically at the naked landscape of my life in the glaring, harsh light of introspection.

And this little, confident, absolutely certain voice cries back from that barren land:

You do it because you love it, asshole.

And this, naked and undisguised, is true.